Free funny phone messages

How does a vagina look before sex?
Like a lovely pink rose!
And after sex?
Ever seen a Bulldog eating Mayonaise?

I like your style.
I like your class,
but most of all i like your ass.

Tere waz an old man from Glotham,
who took out his balls 2 washem.
His motha sed Jak,
if u dont putem back,
il step on da cunts and squash em

if the sea was vodka and i was a duck id sink to the bottom and drink my way up but the sea isnt vodka

There was a young girl called heather,
whos cunt lips were made of leather they made a strange noise that attracted the boys by flapping the edges together.

Jack & Jill went 2 the dairy,
Jack popped out his big'n airy,
Jill said "WOW WOT A WHOPPER let's go home & DO IT PROPER

If you don't like oral sex than keep your mouth shut!!