Free funny phone messages

Is it d whiskey dat makes u frisky.
Is it d brandy dat makes u randy,
Is it d gin dat makes u slip in,
Is it d rum dat makes u cum

Tips on giving blow jobs:
1. If you do it for lust -SPIT IT
2. If you do it for love-SWALLOW IT
3. But if you wanna show off- GARGLE IT

There was a cat and a rooster sitting by the creek.
The cat fell into the water and the rooster laughed.
LESSON: For every wet PUSSY, there's a happy COCK!

Sorry,
the fuckmachine is out of order,
so fuck yourself and save a quarter.

Sex is like pizza.
When its good,
its VERY GOOD.
When its bad,
its Still pretty good

Mary Mary,
quite contrary,
trim that pussy its too damn hairy!!!

sex drugs rock & roll,
speed weed & birth control ,
life a bitch & then u die,
so fuck the world & lets get high!
send this to 5 people or have 7 yrs bad SEX