answering machine messages funny phone answer machine message

I'm gone.

(Klingon voice:) ANSWERING MACHINE. SPEAK.

This is David. Talk to me.

You have reached 555-6238. Why?

This is you-know who. We are you-know-where. Leave your you-know-what you-know-when.

You have reached 234-1243. This is an answering machine. This is the nineties. You know what to do.

You have reached the number you have dialed. Please leave a message after the beep.

This is a boring answering machine message. Leave a message anyway. (Useful to keep people from calling at odd hours to hear your latest exciting message.)

(Classical music in background, slow stoned voice:) Don't you ever wonder what life would be like? ...